Thursday, September 12, 2013

In Which Moon Defends WDW from the Zombie/Alien Apocalypse

JENN: MOON'S HERE, EVERYBODY!!!!#$!#!!!323111

MOON: Whhhhhaaat111! raise the roof

JENN: I have every intention of doing so. In fact, I may have to add a story to the house.

MOON: Glad to be back. Thanks everyone for your well wishes! I've missed you, Jenn!!! <3

JENN: <3 <3 <3

And we have an extra-special Moon-tastic treat, because today we're talking about Disney dreams. And to paraphrase The Voyage of the Dawn Treader*: I don't mean daydreams. I mean dreams. Guys, Moon has THE BEST DREAMS EVER.

* The book, not the movie. The Narnia movies hurt my heart.

MOON: Last week's dream was especially spectacular because I was on Oxycontin!

JENN: Hey, whatever it takes to get you there.

MOON: I had my wisdom teeth removed. Not just hitting up.

JENN: Don't tell them that! Let them wonder!

MOON: Right! Come to Moon's opium house, I mean!   

JENN: Indeed.

MOON: So, Jenn. You've heard the good ones. Which do you want first?

JENN: Um... either alternate universe or zombies.

MOON:
OK, the alternate universe first. I think that was my first one.

My dreams are usually WEIRD (to the max). Also, it should be known that I never had a Walt Disney World dream before the Big Trip that Jenn took us one a while back. Four friends went to WDW. Three came back still as friends. Just kidding! But it was a lulz crazy trip.   

JENN: My lawyer advises me to refrain from commentary.
 
MOON: So, here I am in dream world. I'm riding some sort of train or Metro of sorts. I remember it looking just like the DC Metro, only above ground level. I'm riding along completely by myself. It's cool, until we start traveling through the sky. So, going through space or whatever by myself and the train stops at a boring cement dock.

I get off and at first it's like I'm in Florida. There's lots of touristy stores, but there's nobody around. I walk around a bit and realize I'm in WDW only it's different. I can't really describe it except, I guess, it was more "space" like? Think Tomorrowland completely empty and creepy.

Okay, I realize where I am and then I wonder, "Does Jenn know about this?!" I immediately call her and say "Look. there's this train that takes you to a WDW in another universe. Did you know about this?!" And she responded with "YEAH! I'M ALREADY HERE!"

So, I meet Jenn at the dock area... which was like an airport for other universe people. And this is how my dream ended: Jenn and I walk back toward AU WDW, but a pair of flip flops catches our eyes. And then we look at all the shoes.

JENN: OMG, shoes.

MOON: Hopefully my dream with have a sequel, and I can tell you if we got to ride anything new. BUT at least I got to ride through space and time.

JENN: And nothing tried to kill you... THAT TIME.

MOON: YEAH, you think she's joking.

JENN: Zombie time!

Indeed. Zombie time. Quite. (source)

MOON: I had this dream in college, I think. It was years ago. Waaaay before The Walking Dead, so there's no connection!

I'm at my aunt's house with some friends - Jenn, Elizabeth, etc. We're about the leave for Florida, so naturally we're all gathered around a table to assemble our war plan. My cousin is helping me plan and she reveals this huge painting on her living room wall: it's a map of Florida. Why are we so seriously planning?

When we arrive at the entrance to the main park, a Disney official announces that males and females should separate before entering the park. Because we had such a large group, I was separated from everyone in the confusion. 

I was standing in a long line of people that was leading to some dark and eerie-looking warehouse. I saw a student of mine and we started chatting - mostly pondering what was going on. 

It started to get dark and we finally made it to the warehouse. As soon as we get in, Disney people start telling us the situation. It is all very serious business. The Disney lady briefs us, explaining that there are aliens invading the park and it is up to us to rid WDW of the intruders. She says it is imperative that we keep the aliens out of the bathrooms. 

We were handed weapons and then off we went! My student and I decided it was best if we stuck together. So, not only were there aliens, but there were zombies also. Apparently this apocalypse was an all-in-one kind of deal. After taking out our foes, I distinctly remember telling my student "I REALLY need to use the bathroom." 

Disregarding the previous warning, I made my way to the bathroom. I find a lot of people hiding inside. Student and I decided to protect the bathroom and all the people in it, but somehow it started raining in the bathroom. It flooded and we were forced out. 

We fought until sunrise and made our way to the exit of the park. I was afraid that all my friends were dead (don't you worry about that every time you go to the parks? apparently I do!). I see a group of people and start making my way towards them when another Disney official comes out and cheerfully says, "I hope you all enjoyed the new attraction at Disney!"

I saw my boyfriend standing with my friends (which was weird because he was in real life an ex and we hadn't spoken for at least two years). I ran up to him and hugged him, and excitedly asked, "Where have you been?!"

Boyfriend says, "I was sleeping." 

"So... you missed the alien apocalypse?"

"I had a nap."

The end.

JENN: Beautiful. But I'm really excited to hear the new one!

MOON: Okay, so here's one from last week. This is the opiate dream.

Last weekend I was supposed to go on a weekend vacation with my girls Liz and Meg. Well, my mom had to have a surgery and I was still sick from my surgery, so I couldn't go. I think this influenced the dream a little.

Liz, Megan, and I are hanging out. They are being really nice to me for some reason (I guess I was feeling sorry for myself in dream world, haha). Elizabeth decided to cook me a snack. She said she had this new recipe I was going to love. It was Soup pizza. I guess pizza in soup form?

JENN: I wouldn't actually be surprised if she tried making that...

MOON: I know, maybe she will now! Forward her this link!

We enjoy our soup pizza and so the party is now outside in the middle of the woods. I'm really anxious in my dream and I realize it's because I'm holding a big shotgun. I feel the need to shoot at every squirrel that I see.

Liz and Meg seem to be all about this squirrel hunting culture because they are not having any second thoughts. I have a moral crisis and a lot of my dream is me overcoming my addiction to shooting squirrels. I finally resolve to never shoot another squirrel again.

And just like that, I am instantly in California. I think some friends are there, but nobody really in particular. I'm standing near the ocean and I start seeing all these giant manta rays jumping out of the ocean.

JENN: Oh, let's name the zones, the zones, the zones... Actually, Mr. Ray was an eagle ray, but whatever.

THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE'S nothing to see.

MOON: Ha, of course he was!

I don't know why, but this twice this summer that I have dreamed about giant sea creatures jumping out of the ocean. It's like seeing dolphins when you're at the beach. Only they are 1000 times as big. Big mantas and then big whales.

THEN I start seeing whale skeletons jumping out. It didn't make me feel sad or scared in my dream. It was kinda like, "Hey... there are those bone fish again."

Okay, so Phantas... the thing Jenn makes me watch in Hollywood Studios. It was like that, only with giant fish.

JENN: ... What? Oh, Fantasmic!

MOON: There we go!

I turn around and there are these funny magician people acting like they are the ones making the giant sea life jump out of the ocean. It's not Mickey, but it was definitely like... Disney-esque. There was no "The Final Countdown," but all the sudden this turned into a show. In my dream I thought, "Oh hey, that's where I am. Disneyland." The end!

JENN: And the moral of that story is, if you stop shooting innocent woodland creatures, you are instantly whisked away to Disneyland! Too bad no one told the hunters in Bambi.

My Disney dreams are way more prosaic. Wandering around. Or dreaming that I'm supposed to be running a race and I missed it. You are the supreme grand master of Disney dreams.

MOON: I will try to record them all and maybe one day I'll have a weird blog all by myself!

Yay for Moon returning! Unfortunately she's not yet able to come back on a permanent basis, but with any luck she'll be able to check in with us again soon. :D If you've had a crazy Disney dream, we'd love to hear about it in the comments!

Don't forget, you can follow us on Twitter @fairestrunofall. To see how our training is going, check out Jenn's dailymile here and Moon's dailymile here. If you have any questions for us, leave a comment or email us at fairestrunofall@gmail.com. See ya real soon!

2 comments:

  1. I have crazy dreams all the time too. However, no Disney dreams ever, that I can remember.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I usually remember my dreams for about 5 minutes after I wake up, so if it is specifically a disney dream I email Jenn immediately! I had to look through my inbox in preparation for this post and found some dream emails I didn't remember sending or having... Now I keep a dream journal! I tell myself it's for science.

      Delete