I've been off the map for a long time! In the event that anyone is interested in my life pertaining to running these past months, I'm sad to say that I've fallen out of my routine.
Routines are so nice. Structure is so nice. Since 2009, I've worked really hard to establish a running routine. I've had some minor upsets, but I don't think I've ever gone as long as I have this past year without running. Now that it's been so long since I've adhered to a routine, I can say with all the confidence: starting a new one sucks.
The move to Boston was hard. Reflecting on my decisions to move and start everything anew, I am now firmly of the opinion that perhaps I was too audacious in my resolve. I considered all the things I knew would happen: having to find a new job, leaving friends and family behind, living in a place I didn't particularly like, etc. I didn't, however, think of the things that could have happened. You know, such has my kitten becoming very ill while I was in Korea. Ferrang contracted FIP (maybe he was born with it, we aren't sure), and when you're faced with so much life at once, the metaphorical gravity of literally flying around the earth and having no place to be really does things to you. We flew home early and thankfully had some precious time with him, but the day after he passed away, we were driving in a van full of miscellaneous stuff and my cat Hoodoo on my lap, up to Boston.
Since landing in Boston there have been a few attempts to start running again. Weather (I say this almost in passing, but ugggghh, the weather) and mood were the culprits for upsetting any new routine. Depression comes from all sorts of places, but I've definitely been in a multi-level funk for at least the past year. Though, I think I'm finally getting to a place where I can balance my life again. That's what I hope for, anyway (I dream of the days when I had my treadmill and the park behind Elizabeth's house).
Running was a really empowering element to my existence. It was the result and reflection of balance in my life. It took a lot of maintenance, but it truly made me feel happy, calm(er?), and confident. Falling away from that felt like I had failed somehow. So, now I'm just trying to find that happy balance of psyche so I can run happily again.
It's hard to believe, but it's almost been a year since we started our move up here, so we are actually going to be moving yet again! I'm hoping this is the catalyst for Re-start of Life No. 2. I'm currently searching for a kitten to adopt to keep Hoodoo company. Looking for a place with a gym. Took my running clothes out of boxes. Waiting for spring.
Wishing everyone health and happiness!
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