Mary Poppins sings:
Oh, it's a jolly holiday with you, Bert
Gentlemen like you are few [BERT: A vanishing breed, that's me]
Though you're just a diamond in the rough, Bert
Underneath your blood is blue [BERT: Common knowledge!]
Okay, MPopps, with you so far: you're saying Bert is a blue collar worker with a genteel soul. Do go on.
You'd never think of pressing your advantage
Forbearance is the hallmark of your creed [BERT: True]
So, like, Bert's #1 rule is not to hit on girls? Okay, that's fair. What else?
A lady needn't fear when you are near
Your sweet gentility is crystal clear
A lady needn't fear? And this is a vanishing breed? What the hell are the men in Edwardian England like?
It's cool though, ladies; you can be sure Bert won't sexually assault you. What a guy.
(Actually, I know why they did this - P.L. Travers insisted that there be no sexual or romantic tension between Mary Poppins and Bert,* and I guess this verse was drawing the explicit line. But geez, guys. Subtle much?)
* Julie Andrews is on record as saying that she hopes the two got together all the same. Also she assures us that Mary Poppins both uses the bathroom and has orgasms. God, I love her.
Don't forget, you can follow us on Twitter @fairestrunofall. If you have any questions for us, leave a comment or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org. See ya real soon!