Tuesday, October 31, 2017

In Which Jenn Goes On A Halloween Run

Happy Halloween! In honor of this festive holiday, I did the only thing I could: I slapped on a pair of Minnie ears and went for a run.



It was my first run since the marathon and I was sooooooooo slow, but my IT Band held up okay so I'm calling it a win. But none of the other runners I passed were wearing any costumes. What a bunch of ADULTS.

Anyway. As I ran along with great dignity and refinement, I had an idea: what if someone put together a haunted run? I'm not talking about a zombie run or any such thing that already exists; I mean a haunted maze you're supposed to run through.

See, the reason I hate haunted houses is that I have a very strong fight-or-flight instinct. When I'm scared, I want to either punch the offending thing or run away immediately, or both of which are strongly discouraged in your standard haunted houses. I despise shuffling through close quarters knowing for certain any moment something's gonna jump out at me and there's nothing I can do to defend myself. ("But it's not real!" WELL MY IMAGINATION IS MORE POWERFUL THAN YOURS SHUT UP.)

But what if there was a haunted trail designed to be run through? Naturally it couldn't be as visceral as a regular haunted house, but there could be spooky atmosphere and intimidating silhouettes looming in the distance and whispering voices and scary vignettes you got to RUN PAST. Jump scares would be strictly verboten. 

Bonus: if you get freaked out, simply run faster!

I love this concept because I'm into the idea of a lot of horror-themed activities, I just can't manage to enjoy the actual product, what with my jumpiness and all. It wouldn't have to be a race; it could just be a course to run for fun. Of course you'd probably need to make every runner sign a waiver twelve pages long, but they say nothing good comes easy.

And yes, there could be ghostly balloon ladies. All roads lead to runDisney, after all.

What do you think of my haunted trail idea? Does it already exist and if so, how do I sign up? If not, should I try to set it up or just cut out the middleman and sue myself?

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