In Which Jenn Marvels At PR Movie Theaters

I’m not gonna lie to you guys – I’m not a Marvel person. I respect the franchise – my nerdy little Star Trek-loving, Disney-obsessing heart could hardly do otherwise – but it doesn’t do a ton for me. I don’t mind if someone puts a Marvel movie on, but I only see them in theaters when Pat asks me to go with him.

Which is how I wound up at a showing of Avengers: Endgame last weekend. First of all, can we talk about Puerto Rican movie theater prices? They are shockingly cheap. Admittedly our 12:35pm showing probably qualified for matinee prices, but still. We got two tickets, two sodas, and a candy bar for LESS THAN TWENTY DOLLARS. There are theaters in DC where $20 will barely get you a single ticket.

Anyway. So. There I was in the movie theater, eating my half of a Bueno bar and watching Endgame, a movie which elicited in me great feelings of neutrality and which is, by my conservative estimate, 87,000 years long. To keep myself entertained and continue to practice my Spanish, I took to reading the subtitles. Oh, right, I should mentioned – in Puerto Rico, Hollywood movies are run in English with Spanish subtitles.

So I was reading the subtitles, and I noticed that they didn’t always fully match up with the English dialogue. There were little things, word choices, but bigger things too. For example, at once point someone references visiting the Garden State. How the hell should Spanish-speaking audiences know what that is? The subtitles simply read “Nueva Jersey” instead.

But by far my favorite part of the movie came from just such a miss-match. I can’t remember who said it – Tony Stark, maybe? – but someone referred to the Hulk as Jolly Green. Evidently Green Giant doesn’t have a ton of cache in the Caribbean, because the subtitles instead said – wait for it – Wazowski. WAZOWSKI! Which is of course a reference to everyone’s favorite green star of Monsters Inc.

In conclusion, I made a meme about it for the people of the Caribbean. You’re welcome!

Don’t forget, you can follow FRoA on Twitter @fairestrunofall. If you have any questions, leave a comment or email fairestrunofall@gmail.comSee ya real soon!

Kill/Refurb/Marry: Disney Partners

It’s Kill/Refurb/Marry time! Today’s blog hop topic is “Disney Partners” otherwise described as “Disney Best Friends.” I’ve put some thought into it and decided upon the following:

Kill:
Mike, Sully & Boo from
Monsters, Inc.

I don’t know if you want to argue that Mike & Boo are more of a team or Sully & Boo are more of a team or what. All I know is that if Boo is playing for your team, YOU LOSE.

Refurb:
The Figment Crew from Journey Into Your Imagination at Epcot


I was having a little trouble determining which Disney buddy pair I wanted to refurb until I remembered, hey, I can totally go outside the movies, right? And so it shall be. Therefore, I wish to refurb the Imagination Pavilion team. Eric Idle, you’re a wonderful Python, but you’re no Dreamfinder. Let’s bring him back, shall we? I guess you could call this half a kill, or Nigel can stay too – I just want a little piece of the original ride I loved back. Let’s make it happen!

Mistakes were made.

Marry:
Pooh & Piglet of Everything Pooh-Related


Don’t get me wrong – of all the randomly added characters the world has ever seen in book-to-movie adaptations, Gopher is the most charming. But I’m glad Disney came to their senses and brought Piglet back for subsequent Pooh projects. Why marry the Pooh-Piglet combo? Here’s why:

I rest my case.

P.S. “W-O-L. That spells Owl.” “Bless my soul, so it does!”

Don’t forget, you can follow us on Twitter @fairestrunofall. To see how our training is going, check out Jenn’s dailymile here and Moon’s dailymile here. If you have any questions for us, leave a comment or email us at fairestrunofall@gmail.comSee ya real soon!

Squirtgun To Your Head: Least Favorite Disney Character?

JENN: It’s time for another Squirtgun To Your Head! As we put the figurative gun to the head of a character we don’t like. Yes, the question today is this: Who is your LEAST favorite Disney character?

I know mine: Boo from Monsters Inc.

SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND GET OUT OF MY FACE

I CANNOT STAND BOO. She straight up ruins Monsters Inc. for me. Not even Billy Crystal can save it, and I love me some Billy Crystal.

MOON: I haven’t seen Monsters Inc. yet, but I hear thiiiings.

JENN: A lot of people love the movie and think Boo is so cute. I spent the whole time wanting to kick her in the shins. Because I am a terrible person with a low tolerance for “adorable” small child antics that are actually REALLY IRRITATING. The only good thing she does is burst into tears when Sully accidentally scares her.

And now, as the hordes run my blackened, heartless shell out into the frozen tundra to die, who’s your least favorite?

MOON: Hmm, so I have some arbitrary dislikes, but here’s one with a reason. Bambi’s father (father-deer?…)

NOT PICTURED: The ideal single father.

JENN: Do you resent him for not showing up in Bambi’s life until he was no longer needed? I think his name is Prince, btw.

MOON: Absolutely.

JENN: Some men just can’t handle the pressures of paternal responsibility, I guess.

MOON: Haha, I feel like I made this post suddenly very serious.

JENN: I could talk about kicking a computer-generated toddler in the shins again if that would help?

MOON: Being 4-5 and remembering that Prince is a jerk is heeeeavy stuff.

JENN: You were wise beyond your years. That’s why you’re such an adept time traveler.

How about you, dear reader? How do you feel about Boo and Prince? What Disney characters rub you the wrong way, if it’s not too blasphemous to ask?

Don’t forget, you can follow us on Twitter @fairestrunofall. To see how our training is going, check out Jenn’s dailymile here and Moon’s dailymile here. If you have any questions for us, leave a comment or email us atfairestrunofall@gmail.comSee ya real soon!