In Which Jenn Makes The Cheater’s Garlic Bread

Garlic bread

This is so freakin’ easy it’s barely even a recipe. And also, I know it’s not REALLY garlic bread. But it takes, like, 90 seconds to make (which is mostly toaster time) and it can be ready practically whenever you want it with any bread you happen to have on hand.

The one thing I must insist on, though, is butter. I mean, if you’re vegan or you have an allergy or lactose intolerance or whatever, ignore me, but if you’re just afraid of butter, STOP IT. Julia Child wants you to know that you need some fat in your diet so your body can process your vitamins. LISTEN TO JULIA.

Exactly, Julia. Exactly. And so I now present to you:

The Cheater’s Garlic Bread

You will need:

  • A slice of bread

  • A pat of unsalted butter

  • Salt

  • Granulated garlic

  • A toaster

  1. Toast your bread to the desired level of done-ness.

  2. Butter your bread* and let it sit for a bit, so it can melt. Once it’s sufficiently melted, spread evenly across the entire slice.

  3. Mix granulated garlic and salt in your hand. Sprinkle the mixture over your buttered bread until it’s as salty-garlicky as will please your palate.

  4. Eat! Or, for bonus points, scramble two eggs with as much spinach as can fit in the pan, add parmesan cheese and the remaining salt-garlic mixture, and serve alongside your garlic bread. Okay, NOW you can eat.

Garlic bread and eggs

I hope you have enjoyed this cheater’s recipe! But don’t share it with your pets. Garlic is bad for them. Okay? Now off you go.

*Insert Super Troopers reference here.

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  1. I make a very similar cheat version! Although I melt the butter first, spread it on the bread, generously sprinkle garlic and throw it in the toaster over…after adding massive amounts of mozzarella cheese because why have garlic bread when you can have CHEESY GARLIC BREAD!

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