Happy Friday: “You Can’t Cry Over Mufasa’s Death & Then Bust A Cap”

Fun fact about me: I love standup comedy! If I’m surfing Netflix, the first place I’ll look is the standup category. That or the horror section. I’m a complicated person.

Anyway – a couple weeks ago I happened upon this guy Jordan Conley, who himself happened to mention Disney in his set. This in of itself is not a huge surprise – these people are in entertainment so it comes up now and again – but his take on a Disney gang really did it for me. He and his space rangers are about to knock you to infinity and beyond!

Warning: mild language. But language is a societal construct anyway, so who cares? 

Don’t forget, you can follow FRoA on Twitter @fairestrunofall. It would thrill me extremely if you would leave a comment with any questions or thoughtsSee ya real soon!

In Which Jenn Will Be Part Of Your World

My inner Disney Dandy has been thinking about this tank top for a long time.

I have this habit of hemming and hawing over purchases. I go to an online store, I fill my cart, I weed out the stuff I’m not as into until I have a good balance of interest to value, and then… I often do nothing. I am a chronic abandoner of carts.

This is, probably, mostly, a good thing. Helps me save money. Keeps me from acquiring stuff I don’t need – or, more accurately, acquiring more stuff I don’t need. But occasionally I really regret a purchase not made. I can’t stop thinking about it. I go on the website, and it’s sold out. Alas.

This very much happened to me with this Little Mermaid tank from Hot Topic. I lived in my cart once upon a time, but never made it home to me. Still, it would pop up in my head now and again – there’s something very affirmative about that “I don’t know when, I don’t know how, but I know something’s starting right now” portion of the lyrics of “Part of Your World,” and the crochet Ariel elevates the entire piece.

I spent a couple years looking at resale sights like eBay and ThredUp, hoping to score – and I finally found it on Poshmark! I had to take a chance on an extra small, but the gamble paid off because it fits great. 

Ariel tank

Ariel tank

Ariel tank

The only question was: what to wear with it? When I step out of the kingdom of dresses and wade into the swamp of separates, I tend to gravitate toward high-waisted items – I find them more flattering. But you can’t do that with this shirt, as it would obscure too much of those all-important lyrics.

My ultimate solution surprises even me.

Ariel tank

Who would’ve thought I’d ever wear bike shorts outside the athletic arena? Not me! And yet here we are. It’s been a fashion trend for awhile now, and even, like, weirdly flattering…? But aside from the aesthetics, what I really like is the prospect of using those side pockets and ditching a bag. Imagine, breezing past bag check! Form and function. Good times.

Ariel tank

Ariel tank

Ariel tank

Ariel tank

Oh, I have a proper tripod now. No more mirror shots! Next time I’ll even take a step to the left and get the fan out of the frame. Also these screenshots are lookin’ a little blurry. I gotta set up the remote clicker. Narcissism has a learning curve, is what I’m saying.

So that’s my latest Disney clothing update. Until next time! Which given my track record could be, like, tomorrow…

Don’t forget, you can follow FRoA on Twitter @fairestrunofall. It would thrill me extremely if you would leave a comment with any questions or thoughtsSee ya real soon!

In Which Jenn Has A Disney Sing Along En Español

Let’s get down to business – or, as they say in Spanish, hombres de acción:

This means “men of action,” and that’s my segue into today’s topic, which is: my New Year’s resolutions. Duh.

Much like deciding what to give up for Lent, I like to make my New Year’s resolutions very doable. For this year, my primary resolution is to watch a maximum amount of Disney movies in Spanish. Disney+ offers language tracks and subtitles for pretty much all their animated movies in both European AND Latino Spanish, and since I already know the context of the dialogue in English, Disney in Spanish should be a pretty good learning tool.

Also a good learning tool? Disney songs in Spanish! What I particularly like about these is the translations of the titles. Such as the above example from Mulan – I’m sure someone could have literally translated “Let’s Get Down to Business,” but they went with “Men of Action” instead. Similarly, it’s not that Megara insists that “I Won’t Say I’m in Love,” but rather that “I Will Not Speak of My Love:”

La Sirenita goes with the much more direct “Kiss Her:”

Scuttle’s terrible singing is somehow less funny in Spanish, but you should know that Coco is just generally a million times funnier (particularly Frida Kahlo. ¡Y CADA SOY YO!). Which brings us to Coco, of course, which you would think would be the exception, a one-for-one translation, since it’s already largely Spanish. For some songs that’s the case, but not for “The Beat of My Heart:”

There are countless other examples, but you get the idea. If you’re out there trying to learn a language, try folding some Disney in – it really does work for everything!

Don’t forget, you can follow FRoA on Twitter @fairestrunofall. It would thrill me extremely if you would leave a comment with any questions or thoughtsSee ya real soon!

In Which Jenn Thinks The Mulan Remake Isn’t

Okay, I’ve taken some time to think about it, and I believe I’m ready to weigh in on this whole Mulan remake controversy.* Basically: yes, I have a problem with it. No, it’s not exactly what you think.

* Because you’ve doubtless all been waiting to hear what an obscure white girl blogger has to say on the matter.

So if you don’t know (but you’re reading this blog then you totally do, but all the same) Disney’s live action Mulan remake has met with some mixed reactions in the fandom. As details have been slowly released, the negative camp has been horrified by Disney’s sins of omission: no songs! No Li Shang! NO MUSHU!

It’s enough to make a Disney purist burst into exquisitely rendered tears. But not so fast, say the woke among us. This remake is working hard to be more culturally accurate! The original played a little too fast and loose with some details of Chinese culture and Disney is working to correct that!

None of which is news to me; my dad, who has a bachelor’s degree in East Asian history for some unknown reason, informed my innocent 12 year old self from jump: “You know this isn’t a very Chinese movie, right?” I did not know. I was 12 and I loved it. He just likes to ruin things. But he’s not wrong.

Did I mention I love the 1998 Mulan? I freaking LOVE it. Mulan is my favorite princess! But I’m happy to recognize that it’s not the most culturally accurate representation of the tale. Mulan is not Disney’s invention; she has a looooong history and is a huge part of Chinese folklore. Disney wasn’t even the first to adapt the story, not by a long shot, and probably won’t be the last.

And there, my friends, is where I start to have a problem. If Disney wants to make a new Mulan that better follows the source material, great! If they’re going to work harder to make sure that they represent Chinese culture with improved accuracy and sensitivity, magnificent! That all sounds very forward-thinking to me!

BUT STOP CALLING IT A REMAKE.

This is not a remake. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A REMAKE. It is extra not a remake because Disney didn’t even make up the dang story themselves in the first place. They weren’t even the first to create an adaptation. This is a just new interpretation of the Mulan tale.

The absence of songs and characters does not invalidate the new movie’s worth in any way shape, or form. But it does pull the plot too far removed from the “original” to earn the title “remake.” It’d be liked calling Disney’s Beauty & The Beast a remake of the ’80s television show “Beauty & The Beast” because they share a title and source material. And do we do that? No we do not! And from where I’m standing this is no different.

So why is Disney calling it a remake? Simple: to capitalize on our nostalgia. Those of us who grew up during the Disney Renaissance love hard. I’d be willing to bet that 70% of the people dropping money on all these live action remakes are millennials looking to recapture that precious portion of their childhood, many of whom are sharing it with their own kids. The nostalgia is essential for Disney to tap into if they want to continue using these remakes as a license to print money.

That’s why they’re calling it a Mulan remake. They must know they’re starting their story from just this side of square one. But they’re hoping you won’t notice if they don’t change the title.

P.S. While I’m actively putting my foot in it: there’s no reason Ariel can’t be black. Hell, if we do in fact get Terry Crews as Triton out of it I consider it an upgrade! Andre Braugher for Sebastian, anyone?

Happy Friday: Now Here Is A Riddle To Guess If You Can

My theory on Hunchback is that it was pitched as a joke, but then Menken wrote the gorgeous opening number “Bells of Notre Dame” and the execs were like WE LOVE IT MAKE THE MOVIE and the writers were like “…”

Or this:

Don’t forget, you can follow FRoA on Twitter @fairestrunofall. If you have any questions or thoughts, leave a comment or email fairestrunofall@gmail.comSee ya real soon!