Disaster! Was A Universal Studios Masterpiece You’re Welcome

Hello and welcome to Happy Friday, an occasional series wherein I simply talk about a theme park-adjacent topic that makes me happy. Believe it or not, today’s subject is a DISASTER! – and it makes me very happy. 🙂

UNIVERSAL LOSSES

I’m currently in the throes of planning a Universal Studios Florida trip! While I am habitually more of a Disney gal, I’ve been hitting up Universal with greater frequency over the last couple years. This opens up whole new worlds of attractions to love, of course – but then it also means that I become cognizant of Universal’s changes.

Just as I mourn many of Walt Disney World’s extinct attractions (World Showcase Players, come home!), I now find myself yearning for Universal rides and shows of yesteryear. Alas, I will never again know the joy of being under attack by Jaws, or riding Rip Ride Rockit to the Muppets’ “Moving Right Along,” or being beckoned through a water portal by Christina Pickles.

Speaking of celebrity cameos, perhaps my most felt loss is that of DISASTER! A Major Motion Picture Ride Starring You! … and Christopher Walken. Also The Rock.

WHAT WAS DISASTER?

Okay, first, some VERY brief background. Back when Universal was doing the whole “working studio” conceit a la Disney-MGM, they had a ride called Earthquake: The Big One. It featured a special effects experience wherein you boarded a subway car, experienced an earthquake, faced an underground flood, etc. It was kind of analogous to Catastrophe Canyon, if that helps.

This version of the ride was closed in 2007, opening in early 2008 with the same basic ride structure (plus a few enhancements) but a completely new queue and preshow. In the new version, you were touring a fictional movie studio called Disaster Studios that specialized in the most ridiculous, inane, over-the-top Michael Bay/SyFy-style films you could conceive. Sample titles include Super Mega Ultra Atomic Chaos, Apocageddon, 300 Knots Landing, and my personal favorite, Das Schurke. Why yes, that is indeed a reused Bruce from the old Jaws ride.

The architect of this insanity? Director Frank Kincaid, aka Christopher Walken, cleverly presented as a hologram with which a live actor would interact. In the main preshow, Kincaid walked the audience through his moving making philosophies. You know, man vs. nature; man vs. technology; or man vs. brain-eating zombies; man vs. really bad architects.

The script included tons of these wry, satirical bits, including Kincaid’s rules for disaster movie magic. These include rule #22: Only one person knows how to avert the disaster but nobody ever believes him. Or maybe you prefer rule #101: Explosions are good; slow motion explosions are better. Hard to argue with that.

WE ARE MOVING ON!

To be frank (ha!), we have barely even scratched the surface of what made DISASTER so incredible. The actor playing Kincaid’s assistant Lonnie was always so talented and funny! There was tons of audience participation! Everybody did the bit on the subway with the earthquake and stuff for the movie! The final film was called Mutha Nature and it starred The Rock! Should we just watch it real quick? Let’s just watch it real quick.

One more fun disaster fact: it appears in the Sharknado film where they visit Universal. Frank Kincaid would’ve loved it.

DISASTER: AN ALL-STAR SPECIAL EFFECTS ADRENALINE-SOAKED EXTRAVAGANZA

You see? Entertainment is when conflict happens to other people. I can’t believe this endlessly quotable masterwork was replaced by that weird Fast & Furious ride where Vin Diesel is the size of a helicopter. Although that does sound like something Frank Kincaid would do…

Fairest Run Of All hopes you enjoyed reading our latest blog post you’re welcome. Remember, visitation implies release of liability!

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