The Fairest Trip Report Of All: 1/09

WDW Passholder line

It’s trip report time again! I love trip reports! I’m recapping my January 2017 trip to WDW for the marathon. You can see all the posts in this report here. Onward!

As Jean Valjean once said: one day more…

I started my last WDW day in the usual way: I showered, knocked out some last minute packing, checked my bag, and hopped a bus to the Magic Kingdom.

I thought I’d be catching one of the last showings of the train station welcome show, but as it turned out that ship had already sailed, replaced by the new welcome show on the castle forecourt stage. It was a perfectly fine replacement, featuring many of the same characters, but I missed the trolley show singers and their misappropriation of “Good Morning.” (Is it great to stay up late? What exactly are we doing here, then?)

After rope drop I headed straight to Space Mountain and got in a ride in the back on the left side track. Upon emerging, I considered a ride on the TTA, but it was temporarily down.

Instead I headed over to the Haunted Mansion, where I experienced what the ride would be like if you replaced the spirits with screaming girls. Even my hitchhiking ghost informed me he was eager to accompany me back to Maryland. (Anyone else think the random Magic Band info they pull is kinda weird sometimes?)

By that point my coveted Seven Dwarfs Mine Train FP slot had opened, so I headed over to New Fantasyland and… the ride was down. So instead I rode small world while considering my next move.

WDW Trip Report

I concluded that the best course of action therefore was obviously to go get some coffee. I headed over to the Main Street Bakery for some Starbucks, but even at 10:30am the line was bonkers. I got in it for like 30 seconds before bailing in favor of a less fancy but more easily accessible coffee from the Cheshire Cafe.

WDW Trip Report

I brought my coffee back to the Mine Train area and chilled by one of the turret things as I sipped. I wound up finishing the coffee before anything happened in the mines; I conceded temporary defeat and headed back for a second ride on Space Mountain courtesy of my third FP.

After that MDE was reporting still no Mine Train, so I knocked out a bucket list item and caught the Hall of Presidents one more time before it gets… weird. I mean, regardless of anything political, it’s gotta be weird. Trump does not speak eloquently – he carries a speech with a mixture of bluster and charisma. That’s not likely to carry in the form of an audio-animatronic, if you ask me. But whatever. We’ll see what happens.

WDW Trip Report

It does boggle my mind that they’re gonna call Morgan Freeman and ask him to record himself saying “Donald Trump.” You know he won’t want to do it.

WDW Trip Report

Final question: how long does the list of presidents have to get before it just takes too damn long to say them all in a theme park attraction?

The HoP is perfectly timed to end just before The Muppets Present Great Moments In History, so I caught the show, the Declaration version. It was better than I remember – JJ’s banners crack me up.

WDW Trip Report

I wanted to see the Paul Revere show too, so I resolved to stay close by. I wandered through the Christmas shop and Memento Mori to kill the time, then circled back. I didn’t like the Revere version as much, maybe because the lack of JJ means a lack of bridge between the audience and the Muppets? Admittedly I was half paying attention to MDE at the time. I’ll have to give it another shot.

Thankfully the Mine Train was back up, and I slipped into the FP line. I wound up riding with a very nice lady who was pondering running the WDW Marathon next year. Naturally I talked her right the hell into it. MORE CULTISTS!

WDW Trip Report
WDW Trip Report

I knocked out my final FP on Splash Mountain before heading out. I peeked in the Harmony Barbershop to see if they were taking walkups but they looked pretty slammed; I decided to save that one for next time.

WDW Trip Report

While all this was going down I was polling Twitter: should I spend my final afternoon in Epcot or DAK? A lot of my favorite stuff is in DAK, but I wanted a brioche ice cream sandwich from France. And so I hatched a ridiculous, ridiculous plan.

Step one: I picked up the monorail from MK to the TTA to Epcot, where I powerwalked to France and bought the brioche ice cream sandwich. More on this in its own post because I feel it warranted.

Step two: While I ate, I exited through the International Gateway, walked to the Boardwalk bus station, and picked up a bus to DAK there. WDW power user, I tell you!

Now for how to spend my final hours. I pondered trying to make another showing of Festival of the Lion King, but that would be cutting my Magical Express time pretty close.

Instead I headed over to Harambe, grabbed a Safari Amber, and watched Burudika bring it home as they always do. Safari Amber? Eh. Boring. Would not get ahead. Burudika? AWESOME. AGAIN, PLEASE.

I had picked up a Dinosaur FP to close things out, but I had one more trick up my sleeve on the way over: the Everest single rider line. Not only was it open, it was basically nonexistent. And not only did I have time to ride, I had time to ride twice. And the little girl in front of me the second time did NOT vomit on me, as the British dude next to me threatened.

And then I finished the trip how it began: with a ride on Dinosaur.

On the way out I grabbed a triceratops stuffed animal for Pat’s neice, then began to sad trek over to the bus. A Pop bus was of course waiting for me. I did a little shopping for coworkers and such in the gift shop but was sad to see the Minnie bow sunglasses I had been pondering were not available there. Come to think of it, I also forgot to grab that Toad ballcap in the Magic Kingdom. One or both of those may have to come home with me in April…

I’m rambling to delay the inevitable: I change in the bathroom, the bus takes me back to the airport, this post ends. Except maybe to say that I am apparently better at navigating airports drunk than sober. Don’t ask.

Okay! So! That’s it! 🙁 But I still have a couple related posts to come! 🙂 I’m going back in April! 😀

As always, thank you to any and all who read this trip report! I love writing them to relive my trip. Do let me know if you have any suggestions on my delivery – I might get a trifle too detailed sometimes…

Don’t forget, you can follow FRoA on Twitter @fairestrunofall and on Instagram @fairestrunofall. If you have any questions or thoughts, leave a comment or email fairestrunofall@gmail.comSee ya real soon!


  1. I love DAK and Burudika is awesome! Also I think they should bring back the trolley singers doing Good Morning if they ever do one of the 24 hours event again. They can do it at like 5am after people have been in the park all night and then it would make sense 😉

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