Hello and welcome back to my Thoughts While Watching series, where we dig up very-to-kinda old Disney media and react to it in real time. Culture then, meet culture now. FIGHT! (Kidding, kidding. Mostly. 😜)
This week we’re going back to what I once called the ugliest decade, and I stand by it: the ’80s! Not that nothing positive came out of that era. Thus I will ask you a question: have you ever wished “The Golden Girls” did a proper Walt Disney World vacation episode? Well, consider your wish granted!
Kind of. Because while it seems Dorothy, Rose, Blanche, and Sophia never took a proper, full-episode-length WDW trip, we can spend 90 minutes with Bea Arthur and Betty White as they host the Walt Disney World 15th anniversary television special. Technically they are portraying themselves, but it doesn’t take much imagination to realize the writers had their “Golden Girls” characters in mind when they laid down the script.
It took a full 90 minutes to capture everything Michael Eisner demanded for Walt Disney World’s 15th Birthday Celebration. Settle in and grab a snack as we –
– picture it: Walt Disney World, 1986…
30 THOUGHTS I HAD WHILE WATCHING WALT DISNEY WORLD’S 15TH BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION, 1986
1 This Disney Sunday Movie intro is… a lot.
2 So we’re just hazing Mickey Mouse, are we? You really could do anything in the ’80s.
3 We’re five minutes in and despite this musical montage so far the only celebrity I could confidently name for you is Michael Eisner.
4 Oh, never mind; Dolly Parton’s here to save me. Like she always is for all of us!
5 What, were Rue McClanahan and Estelle Getty too busy for Walt?
6 Oh good. A laugh track.
7 Ten bucks says this roller skating bit was Eisner’s idea.
8 Hey, I’ve seen Micky Dolenz play Epcot during a festival concert series! I wonder if this is how he got his in.
9 Well, Betty’s not wholly wrong… men do love talking about draining swamps… (Swamp castle!)
10 “I can’t argue with that. I mean, I could, but… why.” Using that.
11 As a once and future ballerina I am PERSONALLY OFFENDED by the obvious NON-BALLERINA they put in those pointe shoes. Get up in the box already!!!
12 Emmanuel Lewis Kevin Bacon’d me!
13 Is this man negging Minnie Mouse?
14 Wait, Bea Arthur sings? Did… did we already know this? Although it’s no “Baroque Hoedown”…
15 I didn’t realize they ever let the Voices of Liberty out of Epcot.
16 Being as we are on the internet, I will be refraining from political discourse at this time.
17 Reagan again! He’s almost as much as a Disney regular as Richard Nixon.
18 Pour one out for Horizons, as per usual.
19 I’m staying at Fort Wilderness next year; I hope MY hotel room is full of horses and cowboys and good guys and bad guys!
20 “Do you think we should help Mickey and Goofy?” “Nah, they’d probably want to help us sing” is a solid burn. Well done, um, the Everly Brothers was it?
21 I am BEGGING runDisney to trot out Old West Bordello Minnie Mouse as a character stop at the next WDW Marathon.
22 Hey, it’s the song from All That Jazz!
23 I don’t remember the saloon-girls-on-the-table scene in the Hoop de Doo Musical Revue. I feel cheated.
24 All the Dapper Dans at once?! Is this legal?
25 Man, ’80s audiences would laugh at anything. It must have been all the drugs.
26 I thought man, I hope Betty joins this dance and then she DID. Disney magic!
27 “… my favorite movie star, Godzilla.” “Betty, I think he’s married.” Where’s the laugh track when it’s deserved?
28 You know this might be the first time I’ve ever seen all three Caballeros together?
29 HAHAHAHAHA O.J. SIMPSON
30 I miss the Maelstrom.
IN CONCLUSION
I may be in the minority here, but once again I feel this Disney television special had a bit too much song-and-dance, a bit too little park love. At least it was more balanced than some others I’ve tried, especially in the modern era. Girls don’t want celebrities; girls want behind-the-scenes theme park secrets. Fact!
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